How To Talk To Your Partner About Money
Dec 26, 2022
What if you could feel more comfortable talking to your partner about money? I felt very uncomfortable talking to my partner about money. I didn’t know how to talk about what I wanted money for or how we should spend it. I already had it in my head what he would say if I did talk to him about it, so why have the conversation? Most of the time I would just spend the money, and then dread having the conversation after the fact. It really sucked living my life that way, until I learned how to talk to my partner about money.
Learning how to talk to your partner about money is possible. You have to get clear about what you want money for, so you can ask for it. Once you’re clear about what the money is for you have to let go of how you expect the conversation to go. Then practice asking for what you want.
To become more comfortable talking to your partner about money:
Get clear on what you want. To have a conversation about money, you need clarity on what it is you want the money for. Do you want to go on vacation? Do you want to purchase a new car? Do you want to start a savings account? What do you want to do with the money? Get clear on what you want first. Let’s use a vacation as an example. By getting clear that you want to take a vacation, you know what it is you want to ask for, and can then have the conversation.
Let go of what you think your partner is going to say. You may think you know what your partner will say, based on your past experiences. This doesn’t leave any space for the possibility of them saying something new. If you are thinking to yourself any of the following:
*It’s too expensive
*It’s a waste of money
*They’re just gonna say no anyway
Anything that is GUESSING or ASSUMING what they would say, LET IT GO!! When you are telling yourself what the outcome will be before you even have the conversation, you are setting yourself up to get exactly that. Let go of what you think they will say and become open to the possibilities of what they could say.
Practice asking for what you want. If you want to have money conversations with your partner, you have to practice having them. There is no way around this. It’s going to feel uncomfortable because you’re coming from a place of feeling like you don’t know how to do it. The only way to get comfortable is to do it, and keep doing it. Practice, practice, practice!
When you have clarity, let go of what you think your partner will say, and practice asking for what you want, you are becoming the person who has money conversations. You have clarity about what you want money for and what the conversation is about. You are letting go of your expectations on how the conversation will go. Opening up space for new conversations and outcomes to happen. Having conversations about money, the more you practice, the easier it becomes. The next thing you know, you ARE the person who feels comfortable and knows how to talk to your partner about money.
I didn’t get through this on my own. I had a coach who guided me to getting clear on what I wanted, and then to ask for it by having the conversation. To let go of my expectations of what I thought he would say and be open to new possibilities on how the conversation could go. I couldn’t get what I wanted if I wasn’t asking for it. It didn’t happen overnight. I had to practice, practice, practice.
Now that I know how to talk to my husband about money, I look forward to having those conversations. We have amazing conversations about our finances and what we want to spend our money on. It's easy, and fun. I feel more confident asking for what I want. It feels so good to be the person who knows how to talk to her partner about money, and enjoys money conversations now!
Talking to your partner about money is possible. I know this because I practiced and became the person who could. Listen to this episode on Manifesting Success Stories where in my Year of Growth interview, I share how I went from avoiding money conversations, to being excited to talk about money with my partner.
Written with Intention by Abundance Facilitator Kimberly