How To Share Your Feelings Without Upsetting Others
Sep 21, 2022
Are you afraid to share your feelings because you think you’ll upset those around you if you do? I used to be so afraid to share my feelings. I wanted everyone around me to be happy, and I thought that if I shared my feelings about what I wanted, they wouldn’t be happy. It really sucked, because I thought I had to give up what I wanted to make sure they all stayed happy.
I always assumed that if I shared my feelings, those around me would be upset. I had it all worked out in my head, of what I thought they would say or think about what I was sharing. I never left space for the possibility of something different. How could I share my feelings, get what I wanted and still have those around me be happy too? It felt so impossible, until I had a coach and a space where I could practice sharing my feelings.
Here are a few tips you can start practicing today to sharing your feelings:
Tip #1 - Give yourself permission to feel how you feel. I thought I had to stuff my feelings because they didn’t matter and it wouldn’t make a difference if I did share them. You’re allowed to feel how you feel without stuffing them down and telling yourself they do matter.
Tip #2 - You don’t have to share all your feelings. Instead, allow yourself to feel how you feel. We’ve been taught to communicate how we feel, but one thing we’re not taught is to feel our feelings first. When you feel how you feel first, sometimes you don’t have to share with others. You’ve created space to just allow your feelings to be felt, and that’s all they needed.
Tip #3 - Own what you want. You’re allowed to want what you want, just because. We’ve been taught that we have to explain why we want something. To justify why we should be able to have or get what we want. When you own what you want, and allow yourself to want it, just because. You open up space for it to happen.
Tip #4 - Practice. You’ve been practicing not sharing or asking for what you want. If you want something different, then you have to practice something different. Practice sharing how you feel and asking for what you want.
During one of our coaching calls, my coach asked me if I had talked to my husband yet about what I wanted. Of course not, I already knew what I thought he was going to say. I was convinced I already knew the answer. She had me talk to him anyway.
I was afraid to talk to him about becoming a coach and the financial aspect of it. It was something I really wanted. I was thinking he was going to say one thing, yet he actually was very supportive.
The conversation went something like this: “I have something I want to talk to you about. There is an opportunity for me to become a coach, using the same program that has brought me to this point. I know first hand this program works, and I want to coach others to create a life they love living too. It will take a year of training and then it will take time to build my clientele. I really want this. Are you open to covering all the financial pieces you cover now while I pursue this?”
I was blown away by his response in all honesty. He said “yes” without batting an eye. I got what I wanted, and it was easy.
My conversations in the beginning didn’t always go this way. I was justifying and explaining why I felt like I did and why I wanted what I wanted. It was so uncomfortable, sharing my feelings, asking for what I wanted, yet the more I practiced the easier it got.
Now that I know how to share my feelings, it’s easier for me to get what I want. My loved ones get what they want, and they are happy too. We can all feel how we feel, ask for what we want, and be happy. It feels so good to live life this way. I’d love for you to hear how I learned to share my feelings, ask for what I want and get it! You can listen to my Year of Growth interviews here Manifesting Success Stories.