How to Move Forward When You Don’t Know How
Aug 31, 2023
What would be different if you knew how to move forward? Would you be feeling very confident and secure in your abilities? Would you feel calm knowing everything was working out? Those are two mental and emotional places we all love being in, but it can feel really frustrating and isolating when you don't know how you'll ever get it done. You can feel defeated and sad too. That sucks, I get it - I've been there.
I've been in that place when I have so much to do, I'm overwhelmed and don't know how to move forward. It's especially frustrating when you are telling yourself you shouldn't be thinking about the problems because you'll just attract more problems. After-all, that's how the Law of Attraction works, right?
When I’ve been in those moments in the past, I had to lean on my coach to give me guidance. On our weekly coach calls, I would ask, "How do I move forward? I don't know how I'll ever get it done." My coach suggested I get clear on the necessities. Not the things I thought “needed” to get done first, the actual absolute necessities.
Every time I leaned on my coach for support, I got clear on what was absolutely necessary and focused on completing those tasks first, in order. This process is what allowed me to move forward in any situation, no matter how many things were on my to-do list.
A specific example was when I was learning a role for a musical. During the rehearsal process, you're expected to show up to rehearsal familiar with lines and music, then after a few days or weeks, you're expected to be totally memorized. As a person who used to be a “teachers pet,” I sometimes over prepare. I had somewhere in my mind that I should be memorized after only a few days. But when I sat down and got honest with the absolute necessities of the situation, I didn't technically have to have my lines memorized for another 2 weeks. So I set down that task of memorizing lines.
Looking through what was on the rehearsal docket for the next day, I saw that I DID have to have one whole song memorized by the morning. That knowledge let me focus on only that, and let go of the other pressures I was putting on myself.
I went through the big pile of stuff I needed to get done and got really honest and clear about what needed to get done. Once I got clear, my big to-do list turned into one step at a time. I didn’t have to have my lines memorized for another two weeks, so I let that go. I HAD to have that song memorized by the morning, so I got to it.
Would you believe it? It only took me about an hour to memorize a whole song with complicated parts, and I ended up having more time and space that evening, so I got an early start on memorizing my lines!
It was so much easier to get it done when I wasn't carrying the baggage of the rest of my to-do list. When I let go of the idea of having to complete everything on the list and focused on the one step at a a time in order of importance, everything got so much easier!
Even when I had one large thing to do - like packing up my house to move. I broke it down into clear priorities - or steps. There is so much to do when you are packing up to move homes, I really could’ve easily allowed myself to slip into overwhelm and get stuck in the “I don’t know how to move forward.” But I didn’t. I found what was absolutely necessary to get done first, and got that done. The step by step process is what allowed the whole thing to go easier and smoother for all involved.
When you let go of the list as a "whole big thing you need to get done right now", you will relax into the space of it becoming a bit easier. In that relaxed space, it'll be so much easier to get the things done.
So break down what you need to do in order of absolute necessity first, then take it one step at a time. Once the first step is complete, move on to the next most important thing.
If you want more help when these things come up, you can enroll at ELU, where you'll have access to a coach on live coaching calls to help you when you don't know how to move forward. I'm very fortunate to have stuck with my coach so long because I always have her to lean on when I need help moving forward. Now, I have space in my life and the freedom to do what I want, when I want, clear of all of those to-do lists and big things to get done. I've practiced identifying what is absolutely necessary for so long, I do it as second nature now.
You can also check out this awesome podcast episode where my coach and I get into detail about how to let go of those to-do lists to gain better manifesting.